So says Toni Hammer in a piece on ScaryMommy.com. Back in December she decided to go off her anxiety and depression medication. It was partly due to a change in insurance and doctor. When she was prescribed the meds, it was during a time when she was tense all the time. She wasn’t sleeping. She wasn’t coping well with life. She needed help.
Had she been single, or even just married, she may have chosen to tough it out, but she had a 2-year-old son and a 3-year-old daughter and they needed a mom who was present and not constantly fearing make-believe tragedies.
After a year or so on the meds, things seemed to be looking up. She felt like she could handle life better.
For five months, she tried hard to be the person those in my life needed me to be. But after five months she felt herself being pulled back under the crashing waves of anxiety and depression. So she went back on medication.
She felt like a failure, like there was something wrong with her. She now realizes those thoughts are false. The only thing wrong with her is that her mental health is skewed. Her brain doesn’t operate the same way it does for other people, which leaves her with palpable anxiety and depression.
With so many people feeling stigmatized by the fact they’re on medication, she feels being on medication makes her a better mom. She feels her medications are an absolute gift to me and my kids, and she will be on them for as long as I need to in order to be the best mom I can be.